We all live with this, whether its coming to us or coming from us, but judgement can cause a whole world of pain and anxiety, yet it really needn’t.
By letting go of all judgement we can free ourselves of the emotional pain that comes tied to it. And I am going to tell you about my recent experience to share how I over came it and let it go.
I would consider myself to be a fairly confident person, outwardly I don’t really give a monkeys what people think of me or say about me, I have great friends, a loving family and a fantastic partner. But inwardly there is a whole other level to me! Behind the layers of confidence and bravado lies a whole other person, one who is crippled by the thoughts and feelings of others. Paralysed into standstill for what other people might think of me for saying something or doing something in a certain way. It is such a raw and fearful place, that it has in the past frozen me and prevented me from doing the things I felt inspired to do. To the point I allowed it to make me quit my first business start up. I couldn’t bear the thoughts of what others were judging me on, I allowed myself to fall victim to my own judgement.
It wasn’t until I had spent some time being brutally honest to myself, writing down my thoughts and fears about what I had decided on, that I could see where that fear had come from. I understood for the first time what my judgement meant and what it reflected within me. My judgement came from my own fears about what I had embarked on, I believed that when someone asked me what my business was they were belittling me, because I didn’t believe in myself. I believed that when someone challenged me on the price of my product that they didn’t trust me, because I didn’t trust myself. When I heard someone ask me how do I make money working from home that they were questioning my integrity, because I didn’t feel like I was being true to myself but I didn’t know how to figure that out.
Whenever we feel judgement it is a reflection of our own self belief and it is completely in our control to deflect it. Judgement serves no positive purpose to your innerbeing. Judgement is just thoughts that can be dis-empowered with conscious thought and recognition.
The same can be said for the judgement you reflect on others, do you judge the way another mother raises her children, the shoes someone chose to wear with a pair of jeans. It is reflective of your beliefs and view of yourself! Do we really have the right to impose our views in a way which could negatively impact another person? Expressing a judgement which has no value to the person it is directed towards is just a waste of energy which could otherwise be directed in a more positive flow for you. The energy level of judgement is so low and negative it really is a wise choice to nip it in the bud the moment you observe it’s presence.
When I feel myself holding back on doing or saying something for how it may be judged by others I take a moment to reflect on what the truth behind it is for me. Am I prepared to think that my actions really have such importance on another persons day that they are prepared to give up an entire chunk of time to dedicate to me and my decision or behaviour! Really?? No of course not, someone's observation is merely just that, an observation that will bear no importance in their day, they don’t pay my bills, they don’t live my life, they don’t raise my children. I make decisions that feel good to me at the time, and let go of all judgement that is tied to them. It feels so empowered to see conversations from this mindset and observe judgment from this place of understanding and love.